Six Cups of Coffee – Stela Xega

 

Today I drank six cups of coffee
smoked eleven cigarette
wrote five poems
and altogether
spoke four words;

I don’t know what joy is,
but I’m pretty sure this isn’t
anything close.

I know you don’t want
my company,
or my words-
neither do I;
being with someone
who’s everyday in pain
might, I know so well, be a bore.

I gave you space
like satellites,
humming from a melancholic song
while they orbit
as our shadows following us
in the daytime grow distant
as dark sets in.

I only hope
someone is putting their
whole body round yours and
telling you your laugh sounds like
crunching leaves;

Someone is writing all your fave
songs down to make a mixtape to
listen to when they miss you.

You and I are just suitcases
full of haunts;
our baggage is actually quite
light, as it’s the ghosts of those
we thought ourselves obligated
to be that’s heavy.

Gravity is not working against us;
it never has been.
We can let go of these anchors,
and let our hands create a pass
to something else, instead of
clinging so tightly to the
handles of the past.

We laugh and agree
to the things that happened
to us .
That we made them happen,
neither of us knows anymore
than we do of what it means
to fall in love.

Really the only answer ever:
‘It’s complicated.’

But drinking coffee,
laughing, we both fall into
the moment,
and then out.
We laugh more,
and the orbit’s fitting.


Aside from writing, Stela Xega has also been active in theatre, music and blogging; she also works in Albanian/English/Italian translation.  Passionate about art, she often organizes poetry nights and book discussions.  Currently, Miss Xega is studying Economics and Finance at the University of Tirana in her native Albania.

 

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